Discussion Guide: When Giving Feels Like Losing

PRAYER

Our main goal in this time together is to build relationships and learn to walk alongside one another in all that God has called us to be and do. Let’s start by praying for each other.

Does anyone have prayer requests or personal stories of how God has been moving in your life that we can celebrate together?

RETURN TO ME TOPICS

A Love That… :: A Mercy That… :: A Justice That… :: A Presence That… :: A Strength That… :: A Glory That :: A Generosity That…

THIS WEEK

We’re in the final week of our series called Return to Me: The Heart of God Through the Minor Prophets.

Each week, we examine the powerful words of 12 lesser-known prophets whose messages reveal just how deeply God loves and cares for His people.

This week’s message, When Giving Feels Like Losing, comes from Malachi 3. Pastor Alvin walks through the familiar tension of wondering if giving will leave us without. But the real struggle is trusting that God is enough, not things, but with and for our hearts. When we trust Him, especially when it feels risky, we begin to find something deeper and more life-giving than we expected.

To begin, let’s reflect on these questions:

Which of the ‘Return to Me’ themes has challenged or encouraged you most in this season, and why?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

SCRIPTURE

Have someone read Malachi 3 aloud. As you listen, notice any words or phrases that stand out, and ask the Holy Spirit to highlight something for you.

Malachi 3:1-12

1 “Behold, I send my messenger, and he will prepare the way before me. And the Lord whom you seek will suddenly come to his temple; and the messenger of the covenant in whom you delight, behold, he is coming, says the Lord of hosts. 

2 But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner's fire and like fullers' soap. 

3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord. 

4 Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in former years.

5 “Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the Lord of hosts.

6 “For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. 

7 From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from my statutes and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you, says the Lord of hosts. But you say, ‘How shall we return?’ 

8 Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, ‘How have we robbed you?’ In your tithes and contributions. 

9 You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nation of you. 

10 Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. 

11 I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts. 

12 Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the Lord of hosts.

Why would He tie the heart of our relationship with Him to what we do with money? Why does He link returning to Him with returning to generosity?

What kind of generosity does God offer?

In Malachi 3:1–5, we discover that God’s generosity begins not with what He gives, but with who He gives: Jesus. 

God’s greatest gift is His presence. He doesn’t just bring blessings. He is the blessing. A blessing that’s more than convenience and comfort, but one that refines and restores to reflect His presence. 

Like fire purifies metal, God draws near to make us new, restoring true worship, justice, and righteousness. Unlike the world’s definition of generosity, God’s generosity is personal, holy, and transformative.

What stands out to you about the kind of generosity God offers in this passage?

How does it change your view of generosity to think of Jesus as the gift, not just the giver?

What does it mean for God’s presence to both comfort and confront us? How have you experienced that tension?

God’s refining work is described like fire and soap, cleansing but intense. What’s one area in your life where you sense God might be doing that kind of work?

Why do we resist God’s generosity?

Even though God’s love never changes, His people had drifted and didn’t even realize it, as seen in verses 6-9 of Malachi 3. They were holding back in their giving, not because they had nothing, but because they didn’t trust Him to keep providing.

God calls this robbery, not of money, but of trust and worship. The real issue wasn’t money, but an obedient faith.

We resist God’s generosity when we doubt His character, fearing that if we let go, He won’t come through. Yet even in their withholding, God invites them to return, promising He’ll meet them with grace.

What does it say about God that He stays faithful even when we drift away?

Why is it hard to recognize when our hearts have turned away from God?

What are some ways we might give God our leftovers instead of our best, whether with time, money, or attention?

Where in your life do you find it hard to trust that God will provide?

How does God’s generosity change us?

In Malachi 3:10–12, God invites His people to trust Him by putting Him first, not as a transaction, but as an act of worship.

He promises not just to provide but to pour out blessings and protection. However, His generosity isn’t about riches, but it’s about relationship.

When we see Jesus as the ultimate gift, His Spirit changes how we live with open hands and hearts, not closed hearts and tight-fisted hands. God opened and gave everything in Christ, and He invites us to trust Him with everything in return when we return to Him.

What comes to mind when you hear that God is inviting us to “test Him” in our trust and giving?

Have you ever experienced God providing when you chose to trust Him first? What did that look like?

What fears or hesitations do you have when it comes to giving or trusting God with your resources?

What might it look like for you to live more open in hand and heart, in your time, money, or relationships?

Lastly, what might it look like for you to “return to God” in this season?

CLOSING THOUGHT

Malachi shows us that God’s call to return isn’t just about behavior, but it’s about trust. Trust in His character, His care, and His generosity. He’s not trying to take from us. He’s trying to draw us near. And the tension we feel, between fear and faith, scarcity and trust, that’s the very space where God wants to meet us.

He has already met us in giving us His all in Jesus, so that we can know His greatest love and act of generosity, and may come to know Him. Now He’s inviting us to respond, not out of guilt, but out of love. Not to earn something, but to reflect the generous love we’ve already been accepted and approved.

So, if you feel stretched, unsure, or hesitant when giving feels like losing, you’re not alone. But don’t let that stop you from taking a step toward Him. Whether it’s how you give, how you serve, or how you trust—return to Him.

And watch how He shows up, where we live, work, and play, with grace, provision, and peace that lasts.

Let’s close in prayer: God, thank You for being with us, even when life feels uncertain or unimpressive. Help us not to get stuck in the past or fear the future, but to trust that You’re working right here and now, in our present story. Fill us with hope for the day when all things will be made new in Jesus. Teach us to walk with You, day by day, where we live, work, and play. For our good, may our story be for your ultimate glory. Amen.